If someone was to watch me — like a fly on the wall — write from afar, the things that they would see are completely uncharacteristic of me. Typically, I am a very organized and calm person. I begin studying for tests days before, I am constantly writing down my assignments in various calendars in my room and I am meticulous about deadlines. But when it comes down to starting a paper, I am the biggest procrastinator known to mankind.
Before the writing process even begins, I spend about thirty or so minutes hemming and hawing about the effort it takes to begin an essay. Then I will call a friend to complain. Then I will pace around my room for a solid fifteen minutes. Eventually I will open the computer, open Microsoft Word, write a header in the document and proceed to check my social media accounts for the next hour.
I like to pride myself on the idea that I am organized and do not procrastinate when an assignment needs to be completed. But when it comes to starting a paper, all my morals are out the window. The fly-person on the wall making a soft buzzing sound would probably think to themselves: Hey, this person is really lazy. How has it been two hours and they haven’t started yet?! Trust me, I understand why they would think that — I would say the same thing. Once I am finally able to get over that awkward procrastination period and really get into the writing, my fingers fly over the keyboard in record timing. No one can get me to step away from the computer once I have reached this zone of intense concentration. This glory period is really when I enjoy and appreciate writing. The beginning part? Not so much.
If someone were to interrupt me during this glorious period of writing, all hell would break loose. The person watching would see the worst side of me, as that one tap on the shoulder to say hello, or a text buzzing on a phone would send my concentration fleeing for the hills. Oh hey! The procrastination monster is back. Let me check my Instagram for the next couple hours. Finally, finally I will muster up the courage to return to my paper. I may have had a glory period with my writing where I was super productive, but there are still a few pages to write, editing to accomplish and submission to achieve. Here is where my aversion to caffeine is considerably the most regrettable part of myself.
Oh how I wish I could like the taste and feeling of caffeine zipping through my veins! Then I could really concentrate and get back to writing. Finally the glory period returns. It always does. I will finish the essay in record time, as my fingers separate themselves from my body and dance around the keyboard, creating ideas and words flying straight from my thoughts. Final sentence? Check. Works Cited? Check. Sitting back in my chair is when I can release that sigh of relief. Crack my knuckles. Detach my clenched jaws. The more I write about writing, the more it sounds like a painful and unpleasant experience. And yet I love it so much.
Expressing my creativity is something I constantly take for granted when I have writing assignments being thrown at me from right and left. But the second I enter a class without writing, only tests and quizzes, I immediately crave that adrenaline rush that writing gives me when I come up with a good idea or enter a zone of concentration. I would much rather painfully procrastinate for twelve hours straight than take a Biology midterm. My writing process may seem like a mess of anxiety, but trust me, it is worth it for the outcome