Which Skidmore Sports Team Do You Belong On?
1) Which of these is more important to you?
- a) Booty
- b) Beer
- c) Bitches
- d) Global Warming
2) Area of study?
- a) Self-declared Film Studies
- b) Gender Studies/ Environmental Studies with a focus on the testing of Covergirl Clump Crusher Mascara on small female rodents
- c) Culinary Arts
- d) Defense Against the Dark Arts
3) Favorite euphemism for breasts?
- a) Cans
- b) Melons
- c) Jugs
- d) Coconuts
4) Buddy the elf! What's your favorite color?
- a) Primary. Wait, did you say kind of color or did you want a specific color?
- b) Covergirl Clump Crusher in the shade Brownish Black
- c) Aubergine
- d) Green
5) Can you even catch?
- a) Dad wasn't around much when I was young, so the neighbor taught me how to catch. It wasn't until last year that I found out about him and Ma.
- b) Yes, but I'd prefer not to.
- c) Honestly? Not so much.
- d) I can only catch things with my mouth.
6) What team do you want to be on?
- a) Real talk? I don't even know what sports teams we have here.
- b) I wanted to go out for women's lacrosse but I'm a man and they have, like, zero respect for my gender expression. I guess men's lacrosse.
- c) The one with the ponies!
- d) Umm, duh, the one where I get to fly around on a motha-truckin broomstick! Huh? Wait... what do you mean? Then how do they even—? Oh, fuck it.
If you answered mostly A...
Hockey! Looks like you know a thing or two about a thing or two when it comes to pucks. Try it! If that doesn't work out, you could always try something else, like Netflix.
If you answered mostly B...
Congrats! You were practically born to wield a lacrosse stick. Start growing your mullet and head to the Skid Shop to purchase some of that Vineyard Vines gear all the kids are wearing these days.
If you answered mostly C...
Honey, this is your mother. I know things have been hard for you socially this semester. I think that joining the soccer team is a great idea. You'll meet so many friendly people. In the mean time, try bringing cookies to your classes! That seems like a neat way to make friends!
If you answered mostly D...
You're the Chosen One. No, not chosen to defeat the dark lord or take me to prom. You've been chosen to join the Quidditch team! Fly like an eagle!