Posted by David Goroff
Three students spent two days stuck in the Jonsson Tower elevators, reported Skidmore Campus Safety Assistant Director Lawrence Britt, on Monday, March 31. According to Britt, the students survived by smoking marijuana and then quickly eating the large amount of crackers, Trader Joe's brand Oreo cookies and pepperoni-pizza flavored Doritos.
The students were found when facilities mechanics-who ignored the elevator's persistent issues for months-finally got around to looking into reported issues. The students were transported to Saratoga Hospital by the Saratoga Springs Fire Department.
According to Dan Rodecker, director of Facilities, the students were going from the first to second floor of Jonsson Tower when the motor in the eleventh floor machine room failed.
"We never expected students would use the elevators," Rodecker said. "Skidmore is such an athletic school, when we designed the buildings elevators we didn't anticipate so much usage."
Rodecker continued to tell The Skidmore News that the elevator will remain out of service until further notice. At press time, students could be seen pressing the elevator call button repeatedly before giving up, looking sad, and walking up two flights of stairs.
This article was written for April Fools Day. The events described within it did not actually take place.