What’s Said / What Should be Said

It’s not about race. Don’t bring race into it. Not everything is about race. Show me the proof. This fox-eye trend isn’t racist; it’s just makeup. Stop being so insensitive. Hands to their face, pulling their eyes upward. Mocking before, now it’s beauty because they said it was. Too small. Can you see?              

“Your almond eyes are so beautiful”- my fifth-grade teacher. Were my eyes something I had to be ashamed of? Yes, according to her. I was the only Asian American in that class. On a ropes course, scared, while a camp counselor (a stranger) forced me to admit I needed to make friends because all Asians got good grades and needed more friends. Scared of heights and of him. I said what he wanted me to say. Fit the stereotype. Show me the proof. Wait, you eat that. Your food looks disgusting. How can you eat that? Felt ashamed about what I brought for lunch. You’re so quiet. Where are you from? This question. Expects your answer to be  What they say: D O  Y O U  U N D E R S T A N D  M E? Talk loud and slow. Guess I don’t look like I speak English according to them. Wow, you speak English so well. *Cue the condescending applause* My mother tells me her story of two white women gossiping: “There are too many Asians here who don’t speak English. She should just go back to her country.” When the elevator dings, my mother before she steps out confidently says, “Have a nice day. 2019: Walking with my parents, a passing car full of white men yell, “chink, chink, chong!” Ignore them, my mother says. Show me the proof. Who’s going to admit to what they said? Who’s going to admit that they’re racist? I’m angry. And I’m sad. Racist statements, comments, assumptions, stereotypes ring through, but they don’t ring true. The stories of discrimination are true. Stories get ignored. The perpetrators run free away from the consequences. Stereotypes run free dragging down those they cling to. Unsafe, unaccepted where racism lives where racism runs rampant. Some don’t even realize their microaggressions. It’s so micro, they don’t see it. They don’t acknowledge it. Some don’t even realize the problematic nature of their comments. Sometimes when I hear passing comments in conversations, I don’t correct them, even though it’s hurtful. Some don’t understand because of their privilege. Don’t say discrimination and racism towards Asian American don’t exist. Just listen. It’s always about race in this world that judges based on what you look like. Just listen please. Do you understand me?

H e r e’ s  t h e  p r o o f.

- From an Asian American