True Life: Girls are as messy as guys: The token dude

Posted by Jack McDermott

Let's talk bathrooms. When living with girls, it is just natural that you are going to end up sharing a bathroom with them.

Now when I lived in the dorms, all of my suitemates were guys and the bathroom was just an awkward, shared space. We never left anything on the counter or in the shower, but instead kept them in our rooms.

When it did come time to shower we would carry our 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and our unscented bar of soap with us. It's just a thing guys do.

Now I'm in a house and share a bathroom with two of my housemates. Let me tell you, it is overflowing with things. There are shampoos and conditioners, body oils, body scrubs, lotions and products I don't even know the purpose of.

One time, I ran out of soap, but I was already in the shower when I realized it. So I had to use some of my housemate's body wash. That was an experience. Never had I ever washed myself with jojoba butter before.

What is that? It looked like pink ribbon swirls of pudding. I also smelled like floral passion for the rest of the day, whatever that means.

Next time you go to the grocery store — or wherever you buy your shampoos and soaps — look at some of the names and "flavors" that they have.

One of my housemates just bought new deodorant. It took her half an hour to decide on a scent, but she ended up settling for "soft cashmere", which, like the other 500 scents to choose from, just smells like baby powder.

Girls also really like to use hygiene products that smell like fruit. It takes some getting used to. Eucalyptus-cleansing concentrate is also popular, as are cucumber yogurt and tea tree oil.

Both bathrooms in my house, filled with all of their different products, are also just messy.

There are little bobby pins, tweezers and makeup caps everywhere. The counter never seems to stay dry, and there is hair.

Yes, long dark (sometimes ginger) strands of hair on the sink and in the shower drain. I do contribute to the mess in some ways, but I have short hair, so there is no way they can blame that on me.

I also try to steer clear of the bathroom trashcan so as to avoid the tampons and other various things I don't want to see.

Don't worry, we clean our bathrooms a lot, but somehow they never can stay clean, especially on the weekends when hours are spent in the bathroom to get ready.

Now messy bathrooms lead us to the last topic of the day: the actual toilet.

When living with five girls, do not leave the seat up. Don't do it. Just don't. Also, contrary to many urban myths, girls fart and poop just as much as the next guy.

We have some pumpkin spice Febreze in our bathroom that you are supposed to spray when it smells. Don't think I don't notice when the doors are shut, the Febreze has been sprayed and I haven't been in the bathroom all day.

When you live with other people, you just have to learn to accept and deal with things like hair on the sink and the fact that they insist on having a cover for their toothbrush.

I can be just as messy as they are, but I also think it is extremely entertaining to read all of the different hygiene product names while I'm showering.

One thing I must admit, I believe that we have one of the best decorated and matching bathrooms in all of Scribner Village.

Jack McDermott is from Mars, but he lives on Venus.

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