This Week's Cat Horoscopes

Posted by Max Salat and Sam Richardson

Aries: Don't discount the ordinary. Even a phony mouse can have a heart of pure catnip.

Taurus: A leap through the kitchen window will open new frontiers, but beware of the outsiders.

Gemini: A nap on the top step may have dire consequences.

Cancer: Lick your friends clean and they'll do the same for you.

Leo: A pleasant surprise will scuttle blindly from the shower drain. Catch it and you will receive a handsome reward.

Virgo: Never look a gift horse in the mouth, unless the gift is not a dead animal, in which case you may disregard it entirely.

Libra: Keep the promises you've made, or expect to be locked in the shower

Scorpio: You will find luck in the form of soft stuffing beneath a treated leather exterior

Sagittarius: You may find your pain stems from sitting too close to a rocking chair

Capricorn: HEY WHAT DID YOU SEE THAT ON THAT WALL WHAT HEY

Aquarius: You will encounter more Kibbles than Bits this week. Plan ahead accordingly.

Pisces: Stay alert, you never know when you will find litter between your toes.

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