Posted by Max Salat and Sam Richardson
Aries: Don't discount the ordinary. Even a phony mouse can have a heart of pure catnip.
Taurus: A leap through the kitchen window will open new frontiers, but beware of the outsiders.
Gemini: A nap on the top step may have dire consequences.
Cancer: Lick your friends clean and they'll do the same for you.
Leo: A pleasant surprise will scuttle blindly from the shower drain. Catch it and you will receive a handsome reward.
Virgo: Never look a gift horse in the mouth, unless the gift is not a dead animal, in which case you may disregard it entirely.
Libra: Keep the promises you've made, or expect to be locked in the shower
Scorpio: You will find luck in the form of soft stuffing beneath a treated leather exterior
Sagittarius: You may find your pain stems from sitting too close to a rocking chair
Capricorn: HEY WHAT DID YOU SEE THAT ON THAT WALL WHAT HEY
Aquarius: You will encounter more Kibbles than Bits this week. Plan ahead accordingly.
Pisces: Stay alert, you never know when you will find litter between your toes.