Quasi-Intelligible Rants of Case Center Computers

Posted by Sandy Zhang

  • "Ugh. Yet another set of Dorito fingers. Just one more installment of the classic Thursday night THC-induced munchies. After doing this gig for 4 years, I know exactly how this will go: a visit to the website of Pope's Pizza, check credit card account, then Tumblr and e-mail. Too typical. When will I get to go on Harper's Magazine, HUH? I thought this place was supposed to be filled with intellectuals."
  • "Us Macs have to put in much longer hours than PCs. It's not fair. Since when did being stylish and sleek bring hard labor? These kids work me endlessly. I thought attractiveness promised an easier life."
  • "Please get this red pepper hummus off of me."
  • "Sheesh, it's that time of the night again - 1 am. Thorns of bleary-eyed procrastinators leave the library and settle for Case. Someone, probably an upper-classman, will inevitably shack up with me, type the way only someone who has taken Adderall moves her fingers, and won't even offer to call before leaving. Tomorrow, lather rinse repeat. Such is the mundane life of a Case computer."
  • "Kids these days have no manners, is it too difficult to log out after you are done with your business? I don't want to get mired in an investigation if a psycho invades this turf and posts assassination threats on Brad Pitt's Facebook page."

Non-student rushed to hospital at Fun Day event

New Intellectual Property policy under revision: After receiving negative feedback, the Committee on Intellectual Property to compose a second draft