President Glotzbach reportedly "kinda bummed" students "flake" on fireside chat: Accomplished philosopher, professor and administrator says it's ?no big dealio?(April Fools Edition)

Posted by Julia Martin

President Philip Glotzbach's scheduled "fireside chat" on Wednesday, March 6 between 5:30 and 6:30 PM, was embarrassingly not attended by a single student.

"Maybe my e-mail didn't go through?" Glotzbach wondered aloud around 6:07 PM.

By 6:22 PM it became clear that no students were planning to attend the scheduled chat. At that point the summa cum laude graduate of Notre Dame University reportedly turned off the electric fire in an effort draw less attention to himself and the empty seats next to him.

"This isn't the first time the students have ditched me," Glotzbach, who earned his Ph.D. at Yale University, said, "Honestly, and I don't say this to be mean I say this to be honest, it's totally lame of them to not follow through with plans. And Marie thinks so too."

Several students were questioned as to their decision not to attend the scheduled chat. Reasons such as "I think my e-mail's broken" and "It was never, like, a definite plan" were cited by sources that chose to remain anonymous.

The president was last seen pretending to text as he hurriedly exited the Murray-Aikins Dining Hall. 

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