Images Courtesy of USMNT
HARRISON, NEW JERSEY– New York Red Bulls and U.S. Men’s National Soccer Team (USMNT) defender John Tolkin is only 20 years old, but has matured into a world-class professional soccer player. I was lucky to have the chance to discuss many topics with him, including the importance of “betting on yourself,” being process oriented, and recognizing mental health. As impressive as his performances on the field are, the elite mentality of the rising star is equally inspiring.
At 17, John Tolkin was confronted with the biggest decision of his life. He had numerous scholarship offers and had committed to attend college and play soccer at Wake Forest University, a perennial powerhouse in the Atlantic Coast Conference; yet he was offered a professional contract by the New York Red Bulls. However, as his professional career prospects skyrocketed, things had gotten complicated. He had to decide between attending a well-renowned university on scholarship, or foregoing college with hopes of playing professional soccer.
Confidence fueled his decision to turn down the scholarship at Wake Forest and pursue his dream of being a professional athlete. Tolkin’s family was integral in supporting his decision to play professional soccer. While admitting that their support was paramount in the decision-making process, he stated: “Believing in yourself is everything. If you believe in yourself then a decision like that becomes a lot easier.” With his decommitment from Wake Forest, Tolkin placed a bet on himself that he could successfully skip college, at least for now, and make a living by playing soccer.
The decision was a calculated gamble, but it was also the product of a life-long vision. When asked to describe the thought process that enabled him to take this leap at the time, he said: “I definitely dreamed it. What you put in is what you get out, so your dreams can definitely turn into a reality if you put in the work.”
Three years later, it is evident that the gamble has handsomely paid off. A few weeks ago, Tolkin reached a high-point in his career, when he made his debut for the USMNT against Colombia. The rising star is now on track to compete for the starting left-back spot at the 2026 World Cup, which will be hosted on American soil for the first time in over 30 years. When that momentous occasion arrives, Tolkin will be 24 years old and likely playing for a top European club.
As the Chatham, New Jersey native gears up for what is possibly his final season with the New York Red Bulls, he has been the recipient of increased national attention. After earning a spot on the Major League Soccer 20 Under 20 List and being regarded by a reputable website as being the “Best Defensive U21 Left Back in the world” (CIES), it could be tempting for the young athlete to get caught up in the attention. Yet it appears that he remains grounded, is getting better each day, and building on the strong habits that got him here.
When I asked him about the importance of being consistent in training and maintaining productive habits, he stressed the necessity of doing so. He conveyed: “It’s essential to keep the same habits because that’s what got you to where you are in the first place. It’s also important to demonstrate discipline by continuing to have the same good habits every day.”
Tolkin also discussed the importance of maintaining a healthy approach to work-life balance. He explained: “Sometimes it is difficult to manage just being with friends and family. I think the toughest experience I’ve been through would be friends/family or whoever is closest to me not understanding what it is like just mentally as a professional athlete. Obviously, I don’t expect them, in any way, to understand, but sometimes if I’m quiet or in a bad mood or maybe I’m acting differently to them, it can affect relationships. Personally I like to be alone a lot and kind of self-isolated when I get into a certain mood.”
The young professional also shared his thoughts concerning some of the pressure he faces in the spotlight. He explained that while pressure and accepting criticism are part of the job, embracing external factors and communicating with those invested in the process is integral for long-term success. Tolkin explained: “There are vast amounts of criticism, pressure, and expectations from everyone who watches you. And yes, I signed up for it for sure. But all people see is what’s on the field. Nobody sees anything else besides people closer to me, but even the closest can’t understand what it’s like. It’s difficult to communicate with people close to me at times about where my head is, but it is important to do so.”
At the end of the day, Tolkin cherishes the opportunities he has been given. Despite the high expectations and constant pressure, he proclaims that: “Overall it’s the best job anyone could have. I don't even consider it a job. And pressure is a privilege 100% and I love it.” As a young professional, Tolkin has masterfully navigated the work-life balance and will continue to build on these skills. As for his advice for young athletes, he says: “Get off social media and stop comparing yourself and reading all the garbage on it. Work hard and listen to your coaches every day and you will go places. I promise that. And being humble is so important too. Putting your head down and working hard every single day is the number one thing.”
Multiple European clubs (RB Leipzig, Nottingham Forest, Anderlecht, RB Salzburg) have already expressed interest in Tolkin, making the eventual move abroad seemingly inevitable. While this move could solidify a multi-million dollar deal, the expectations and pressure will only intensify. However, it’s evident that Tolkin is wise beyond his years and will be well equipped for his opportunity on the sport’s biggest stage.
For John Tolkin, it seems like it will only be a matter of time until he gets his breakthrough move to Europe. It will be a reward for the guiding forces that have enabled his success: the importance of “betting on himself”, continuing to develop beneficial habits, and communicating how he is feeling with those who support him; lessons from which we all can learn.
