The Dion Waiters Paradox

The Dion Waiters Paradox

Let's get this straight; Dion Waiters is bad at professional basketball. Despite this, Waiters put up 33 points on back-to-back nights for the Miami Heat, the second of which was against the top ranked Golden State Warriors. However, Waiters was not satisfied with scoring 30 points against one of the league's best perimeter defenders, Klay Thompson, and endeavored to hit a near-half court, buzzer beating, hand in the face, three pointer to win the game for Miami. For the uninitiated, Waiters is like superstar Russell Westbrook (his former teammate), that is if you removed all of Westbrook's skill and athleticism, leaving just a rampant ego and seemingly endless amounts of self-confidence.

Basketball lends itself to narrative more than most other professional sports. You can see the players’ faces and emotional reactions, unlike football, and you only have to watch ten players at a time, unlike soccer. The other thing about basketball is that sometimes you just get lucky, so when heroes like Dion decide they are going to lob a basketball at the rim like a fourth grader from Connecticut throwing paper into a trashcan screaming, "Kobe!", he does have the chance that the shot will miraculously go in, and, in this case, it did.

The idea of Dion Waiters is better than the ability of Dion Waiters. Essentially, he is more meme than man, and I would not have it any other way.

After the game, Dion was interviewed during which he said that he was just looking for a home, and that he had found it. I can honestly say, Dion, your home is in our hearts, on the Internet and sparingly, very sparingly, on the basketball court.

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Skidmore's Post-Election Reactions

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