Who is to blame when friends hook up?: What Would C. Do?

Posted by C.

Welcome back to the snowdrifts of Saratoga Springs, where we are slipping, sliding and trying to pick up where we left off — and where was that exactly?

Some of us may have ended our first semester sex/love life or friendship with a question mark, exclamation point or the ever so annoying "…".

Fear not, oh sun-deprived one, I am back and ready to answer the questions that have your head and heart on thin ice.

Dear C.,

If I hook up with my best friend and he has a girlfriend, who is the shittier person?

—It Takes Two 2 Tango

Dear It Takes Two,

You are right: it does take two. However, it also takes someone to initiate the hook-up and another to either hesitate, or follow through immediately.

Once you are able to distinguish the role you play in the unfortunate, smelly situation, the easier it is to decipher the anal route you want to take.

Hesitating and not going through with the hook-up not only leaves you with a guiltless conscience, but also with a clean backside. You can try to talk it out with him and see what the deal is with his girlfriend.

You cannot make any decisions for him, so help by giving a girl's perspective on his issues. If you enjoy the odor of ordure, go for it.

Assess the consequences. If it is too late, expect to own up to them and take responsibility. It may strain the friendship, but if he is a true friend it should flow out as if nothing happened.

The question is not who is the shittier person but "how do I fix this?" By mentioning that both parties are "shit" indicates a guilty conscience on your part, which is key, as well as recognizing the fault in his actions.

If you do not experience guilt, I would question your motives and feelings toward your best friend. Does he mean more to you than you actually admit? Have you ever been sexually attracted to him? What are your feelings toward his girlfriend?

These questions, as well as analyzing and comparing your relationship to other friendships, may help decide whether you are considering hooking up because of your horn, his horn or your heart.

—Stars and hearts, C.

I am a nonbiased, nonjudgmental third party (because I love parties). My aim is to advise, not to direct. The real question is what will you do? Email me at SkidWWCD@gmail.com with questions.

Privacy is guaranteed. Advice can remain unpublished upon request.

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