When privacy is necessary, bribery is the best solution: What Would C. Do? Advice from an Anonymous Friend

Posted by C.

Everyone loves a piece of juicy gossip. However, the feeling isn't as mutual on the other end of the gossip train. When it's our secrets and actions that are being talked about, it's about as juicy as an overcooked piece of meat.

When your sexcapades are on the lips of people you haven't touched, it's natural to feel paranoid and upset. You want to know who is saying what, underestimate the trustworthiness of friends and worry that people are jumping to conclusions.

And you know what? It doesn't matter! Even if you attempt a dramatic hunt for the gossiper it doesn't solve the six degrees of separation puzzle of possible people the rumor originated with.

Sure, you may be curious as to whom not to confide in, but the truth of it all is that everyone talks about everyone. As long as the people that are most important to you know the truth, that's all that matters.

Rumors suck, especially if they aren't true, but life will go on. What people say and think now will not matter after a week, a month or a year. The less of a stink you make out of the situation, the more you'll reek of self-respect.

Dear C.,

How do I ask my roommate to leave for a night? My boyfriend is coming to visit right after Thanksgiving and I don't know how to talk to my sort of homebody roomie about leaving…

— Turkey Jerky

Dear Turkey Jerky,

This is a sticky subject, but luckily you're in a double. Remember the beginning of the year when you had to fill out that awkward roommate questionnaire laying out the ground rules of your room?

If you both agreed about visitors, I wouldn't be too worried about bringing it up. Remember, the sooner the better! Approach her as soon as possible that way she can plan an alternate sleeping situation for when your temporary roommate arrives.

If you ask her in a nervous manner, chances are she'll be sympathetic to your request. If she doesn't seem too open to the idea, try to make her feel as comfortable as possible by helping her find other options. Make sure you tell her exactly when he's coming and what times it will be convenient to be in the room. Look at your situation and think, how can I make it most convenient for her?

There's also the bargain route. Offer to buy her lunch or dinner downtown, or when you go out with your guy, bring her back something. Perhaps surprise her with her favorite treat. Any gesture to show your appreciation is as sweet as leftover pumpkin pie.

—Stars and Hearts, C.

Email me at SkidWWCD@gmail.com with questions. Privacy is guaranteed. Advice can remain unpublished upon request.

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