The first-year guide to 'Fun Day': What Would C. Do? Advice from an Anonymous Friend

Posted by C.

Who says it can only occur on one day? With summer upon us, everyday has the potential of being a "Fun Day."

This is the last and final installment of WWCD until next spring — I will be conquering Europe, in search of my soul mate and the perfect gelato flavor.

Hope there is plenty of reciprocated summer lovin' and a fun-filled fall semester for all. I will always be available to answer burning (hope not!) questions at SkidWWCD@gmail.com.

Hi C,

There is this guy who used to text me all the time when I clearly was not interested, to the point that I stopped responding to him. I never used to see him around, but lately I have seen him everywhere — help me with this awkwardness!

—Anally Awkward

Dear Anal,

This lucky situation always seems to occur at the most inconvenient times, like when you start to aggressively ignore. It is OK. The awkwardness is all in your head.

Sure, the guy might try to flash a sympathetic, easily-mistaken-for-a-puppy-in-the-playpen look, in hopes of sparking some pity pillow talk. If you comply with this tactic, throw the guy a bone and gently raise the sides of your mouth to produce a forced smile.

Just make sure to have some nice thoughts behind your eyes so it is not a total bitch blow-off. Flashing him a smile featured on your latest Facebook default might instill some false hope, and he will text you with the desperation of a dog begging for a treat.

A forced smile gives him a confidence boost from your subtle acknowledgement.

Also, I bet you would hate your crush to completely ignore you. Hopefully, the increase in sightings is based on coincidence and not on his following your scent.

In case you feel it is the latter, we only have a few weeks. Say something if you need to, either that you are not interested or you have a boyfriend.

Dear C,

Regarding Fun Day: how do I act, what do I wear, what drugs do I take, at what point is it appropriate to vomit? These are things that us freshmen need to know!

Thanks, Freshman's First Funday

Dear Freshie,

Prepare yourself. There are no rules to Fun Day. That is what is so fun about it — everyone is a complete mess.

However, there are a few helpful tips that I have learned and have witnessed from past day-drinking experiences:

Wear something comfortable that you can be bloated in, photographs well and can possibly get dirty. If you want to wear the dress that will give you beautiful tan lines — or none at all — be weary of what you wear underneath seeing as things can get rowdy.

Beware of shots! I have seen friends that took one too many during the day, and they were ruined for nightly festivities.

Definitely drink until you feel good, but do not pound it down since you will be drinking over a long period of time. If you want to be creative, concoct a yummy drink you will have for the whole day, and you will not have the consequences of mixing alcohols if that affects you.

Avoid vomiting; there is never a really appropriate time to vomit in public. That being said, gorge on a huge breakfast full of carbs — go ahead, eat that bagel! After the day is done, take a little nappy-poo before feasting on dinner. Perhaps there is one rule on Funday: no diets allowed.

Have an amazing time and remember: if you forget undergarments under your precious sundress, no one will remember, much less care.

Ciao Bellas and Bellos — see you in Spring 2012!

Stars and Hearts, C

Email me at SkidWWCD@gmail.com with questions. Privacy is guaranteed. Advice can remain unpublished upon request.

 

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