Stay friends or take the plunge into the DEEP end?: What Would C. Do? Advice from an Anonymous Friend

Posted by C.

We are currently facing the home stretch of the school year, while winter is still trying to hold on to its gray glory.

However, winter is not the only one needing to let go. Sometimes we find ourselves holding onto failed relationships or failed potential relationships.

Regardless of how the relationship started — with a booty call, through a series of Facebook chats and texts or through a friendship — when ends, we often cannot help but think of our newly ex-lover and what went wrong. Even if the relationship did not have the love at first sight preamble, it does not make it easier to let go and forget.

When it comes to matters of the heart, perhaps holding onto a memory or thought of a person, positive or negative, is more fulfilling than the "what if" factor.

If we do not allow something to blossom, we cannot appreciate what we have been missing.

Hey C.,

Which is better, a fleeting friendship where the only regret is uncertainty or a fleeting love affair where the only regret is losing that very friendship?

-DEEPly confused

Dear DEEPly,

I am never one for regrets, even the menial pizza slice … or two. Feeling regret is something we all struggle with on a day-to-day basis, and the bigger the slice the more we imagine it around our waist.

Consider your situation: is the regret of always wondering worse than the loss of a friendship? The bigger question might be, how well do you deal with regret?

Try and imagine both outcomes, especially if you do not tell him/her, and how you will feel if you miss your chance and he/she ends up with someone else.

Another thought to consider is whether you can maintain the friendship without your feelings getting in the way?

I believe the healthiest relationships blossom from friendship. If you believe the relationship is worthwhile (and it is not only an excuse to get in his/her pants) take this opportunity to be spontaneous and do something that has a higher chance of success than a pizza diet.

Stars and Hearts,C.

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