Bridging the gap in a long distance relationship

Posted by C.

Have you ever experienced every humiliating feeling combined on a Sunday afternoon? That feeling of utter regret, or uncertainty about the weekend's events, unsure of whether you'll receive judgmental looks and snickers as you walk by a crowd?

The best way to cure that Sunday slump and dread of the upcoming week is the knowledge that you are not alone.

We, as college students, are expected to make mistakes.

I can help you figure out pressing questions like: How do I converse with my crush? What do I wear on the first date? How do I tell him he has a uni-brow?

You have questions, and I have answers (or, at least helpful suggestions).

I am a nonbiased, nonjudgmental third party (because I love parties). My aim is to advise, not to direct.

The real question is what will you do?

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You can simply call me C.

Dear C.,

I'm in a long distance relationship. Usually we are really good at keeping in touch, until a few days ago when I felt like I was making all the effort. We hadn't really spoken to each other for a few days, and when I finally got to talk to him he said he'd been partying with his friends. Well, I'm pissed. He should value the effort needed to make this relationship work and let me know what he's up to, right?

—Going the Distance and Getting Resistance

Dear Going the Distance,

First of all, kudos for attempting a long distance relationship. Second, you are right for feeling shorthanded by the effort he puts forth. However, you need to respect his guy time like he hopefully respects your girl time.

While talking about Cindy Lou Who's boy troubles I'm sure you can't help but flash to an image of your one and only, while still keeping track of Lou Who's boo. Boys, however, don't usually multitask in this way.

Even if he isn't thinking of you while he's hanging out with his friends, it doesn't mean he doesn't think about you. If he hasn't spoken to you in a few days or seems distant, he might have something else going on and you should ask him why he's been distracted.

Does he call, text or seem interested when you talk about your day? If yes, he's putting in effort, it's just different than how you show yours.

He's a guy, not a mind reader. If this situation upsets you, tell him in a calm, casual manner that you love hearing he's having a good time. Or seize the silence and enjoy the anticipation of conversing with him.

An emotional tug of war is not a good game to play while in a long distance relationship, so make sure not to act on impulse. Step back, gain empathy and maybe send a naughty text!

—Hearts and Stars, C.

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