Be wary of sailing on the jealou'sea': What Would C. Do? Advice from an Anonymous Friend

Posted by C.

Ahoy, matey! Now that the sun has come out to play, we can flounder to the green to cure our scurvy skin, whether it is sunbathing, playing your guitar or walking along the tightrope.

To the people who climb trees: I know this might be considered jealousy of your ninja squirrel-like abilities, but if you bust a nut, this is a fair warning that people will laugh before we worry or wait for you to pop right up like a cat.

My point? This campus is not a backdrop for your rendition of Jackass, nor is it looking for any more freaky, climbing critters. In any case, please videotape.

Dear C.,

Over winter break I hooked up with a good friend and it ended really badly. Now we are trying to be friends again. But he's starting to get flirty and I don't know what to do. Should I have "a talk" with him?

-Floundering "Friend"

Dear Floundering "Friend,"

Regardless of what you consider "really badly" — whether he took double the time to answer a text or did something as dramatic as on Gossip Girl — do you know what you want? You need to consider what it is you want out of the friendship.

If you really like him, then let the relationship take its natural course toward something that can possibly be great. If you are not feeling it and the hookup left a funky taste in your mouth, I would not take the flirting too seriously.

Sometimes friends unintentionally flirt because they are comfortable with one another. Or maybe he might be trying to diffuse the situation by way of flirting.

Once it borderlines sweet nothings and drunken caresses, then I would consider other signs that your fishy friend might want to swim breast stroke with you. If that time comes, make sure you consider his feelings and find a way to make the conversation as light and relaxed as possible.

Dear C.,

My boyfriend went away to A.C. (Atlantic City) the other weekend and I got very paranoid and we ended up fighting. I tried explaining to him that it's not that I think he'd actually do anything; I'm just not good at trusting people. How do I explain to him that I trust him to the extent that I can trust people in general?


Dear Trust-Scurvy,

If it is any consolation, I would be equally paranoid about a boyfriend going to AC. However, I would never let him know it. Not telling the boyfriend about your paranoia and instead wishing him a good time sets his weekend off to a great start because he knows he has such a cool girlfriend.

You might bite all your nails off by the time he returns, so make sure to surround yourself with your best girlfriends. But this does not mean you get to vent about your boyfriend the entire time. Send him a text halfway through the weekend saying you hope he is having a great time, but do not expect a quick response or a long conversation.

When you tell a boyfriend you do not trust people in general, it makes him feel like he will never be able gain your trust. Figure out the root of your trust issues. This self-evaluation will not only help with your boyfriend, but in other relationships, too.

Comparing that failed relationship to your current relationship will help you understand that some people can be trusted more than others, but the only way to find that out is to communicate why you have these fears.

Hopelessness is a buzz-kill before a poppin' weekend with the boys, so try and make an effort to trust him more than other people around you, especially if there is no reason why you should not him.

Hearts and Stars,C.

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