Arguing friends and awkward 'hook ups': What Would C. Do? Advice from an Anonymous Friend

Posted by C.

Let's prepare ourselves for the upcoming weeks — there is about to be a lot of work, a lot of frustration and a lot of fun.

Fun Day is approaching and whether you have questions about your outfit choice or your flirt-buddy for the day, I will be here to address any last minute conundrums.

Dear C.,

My boyfriend has a friend that I don't really get along with. He has made direct, rude comments to me and does not make an effort to get to want to know me. What do you suggest I do? I really want to have a better relationship with his friends.


Dear Wantingtobefriends,

Talk to the friend. Communicate with the friend without your boyfriend's knowledge to save him from the stress of a confrontation.

However, when you do talk to him there are a few guidelines:

1. Do not tell your boyfriend. Your boyfriend does not want to get involved with something with which he is already uncomfortable. I am sure he is aware of the tension and probably feels guilty.

2. Do not blame him for having a problem with you; make it about your boyfriend's happiness. If you come on aggressively about why he has an issue with you, he will most likely get angrier and nothing will be solved. Instead, calmly approach him to resolve things for the sake of your boyfriend.

3. Be honest. Maybe you guys just do not see eye-to-eye on issues, and he unintentionally upsets you. Also, do not mistake his rudeness for possible flirting. Remember back in middle school when boys would be mean as a sign of affection?

Well, you cannot expect things to change too easily — boys will be boys.

Dear C.,

What are the rules for using the Skidmore Hookup site? Someone I am interested in has added me and I added her back so she knows we have a match.

When I talk to her, should I actually mention that, or just ask her out while leaving that unspoken? It is great to know that she is interested, but I feel strange bringing up that she indicated that through the Internet. Should I say anything?

—Cyber Seduction

Dear Cyber Seduction,

The Skidmore Hookup site is an awesome idea for hooking up with your next booty call and maybe even your next girlfriend. I, too, have had weird thoughts about the site — to list or not to list.

I have yet to actually fill it out because of this dilemma. I hate to say this, but a party situation is probably the best and easiest way to pin her down.

If you do not roll in the same friend group, search for her on Fun Day. You know she will be there and will probably be feeling good, so why not say a friendly hello? Approach her like you would any other girl you are interested in and not like some bionic seductress.

It is an awkward situation for her as well, but making the first move shows you have confidence, a huge turn-on.

Mind you, the hookup site is for hook ups and not marriage, like It is supposed to be fun.

Plus, with the added tension and conquest, the hookup has potential to be more passionate than expected. I might go make my list now.

Stars and Hearts, C.

My aim is to advise, not to direct. The real question is what will you do? E-mail me at with questions.

Privacy is guaranteed. Advice can remain unpublished upon request.

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