I was blue before you
And I was blue after you
I thought that if I gathered you in my hands,
I would find a way to piece you together
But I spilled
I spilled across pages and down mountains
Into the streams of melted snow
Fingertips the color of the moon
I watched you
Across from each other with goose bumps on my forearms
Farther away than I could reach
Close enough that when you crashed, I crashed down too
Words pooling at the base of my throat
Laying down in order to grow up
What can I do if I outgrow you?
I picked myself off the ground as I watched you drown
At war with myself
Wondering if I should jump ship
There was leaping into icy water hand in hand
Running against the wind onto the sand
Breathless with you
Unable to breathe without
I am supposed to let go
Unclench my fists
Loosen my grip on your wrists
I am unable to save you
Wade away
Until I can hurt without praying
Softly using your name