When I was in grade school, the one thing I wanted most was to be sixteen. I couldn’t wait to kiss boys, drive a car, go shopping, and get dressed in the high-tech closets that were always featured in Disney shows. Being an adult was the one thing I wished for throughout my adolescence. It started as desiring smaller privileges of having a boyfriend and wearing makeup, then gradually grew into a deep craving for freedom and adulthood. The more my parents tried to keep me from partying, drinking, smoking, sex, the more I felt as though I needed it. I never took my time. I rushed into things I thought I wanted and made myself miserable because of it. By the time I technically became an adult, the pandemic had hit and since then I have been stuck; still waiting for some sense of freedom. Unlike before, it has been hard to picture a future for myself. The idea of a job, or having a family seems nearly impossible. Between the current political climate, the pandemic, and the planet burning up, it’s very easy to fall into a pit of despair and feel like time is standing still. However, now that I am three months away from turning twenty, I’ve been reminiscing on the only point in my life where I took my time, and genuinely enjoyed being a child. This is for you Juliet, thank you for being a true friend.
Her name was Juliet. She lived right behind my block, which was a dead-end street with a ton of kids to play with. At the end of my street, there was a tunnel that led to a sports field and above the tunnel was a bike path. I would walk to the end of my street and crawl my way through some bushes and across the tunnel to get to Juliet’s backyard. The yard was green and decadent, filled with flowers and fairy houses we had built together. There was a rope swing Juliet’s father had built, that hung off a large tree, we would swing on it after school. Juliet’s father would push us high up. She and I would compete to see who could touch the fence by the bike path, which was at the top of her yard.
Juliet’s laugh was delectable; it was filled with joy like how a baby cracks up for the first time. Juliet had many hobbies. She was a ballet dancer with long graceful legs, and she walked with her feet outwards in a constant plie. Her hair was very long and blonde, and when the sun hit the top of her head, she looked like a sunflower. For ballet, she would wrap it into a bun; and at school, a lot of the time she wore it up. Juliet played piano, and not long after we met, I started to take lessons with her. Juliet would read Harry Potter, so when I went home I would curl up in my bed and try to read it too. I ended up not being able to get through it – Voldemort gave me nightmares. Juliet loved to draw, so, many afternoons we would sit at the table together and sketch mermaids, fairies, and self-portraits of each other. I cherish the moments we spent together curled up on the couch watching the anime Avatar, and later on Doctor Who. We spent so many moments laughing till our bellies hurt, and obsessing over our favorite TV characters. I cherish every moment we played in her yard, barefoot and carefree. All the winters we went sledding by Spy Pond or the nights we spent with her aunt and uncle eating Trader Joe’s artichoke dip.
Our friendship was one that could not be broken, that is until I moved away.
Juliet was the hardest thing I had to leave behind. I cried and cried to my mom, begging her to please let us stay. I wanted to continue school with Juliet, my one friend who understood me. I remember in the spring of fifth grade, Juliet and I were walking to school on the bike path above our streets. In a few months I would be moving, but we hadn’t discussed the subject yet. I turned to her and asked, “Have you heard? About me moving?” Juliet nodded her head solemnly. “Yeah” she responded, “I’m really gonna miss you.” I could see the tears forming in her blue eyes, her head hanging low as we continued to walk. There was nothing I could say that would truly comfort her nor myself.
I admired Juliet. I wanted to embody all the qualities that she held. Over the course of our time together, I feel like she did instill them in me. Thank you, Juliet, for teaching me what real friendship is supposed to look like. Thank you for showing me all the things that I love today. I would not read as much as I do now if it was not for you. I would not be so confident in my ability to write if it was not for you. Thank you for always having my back, whether I was in a fight with friends at school, or having a hard time at home. Thank you for teaching me that being a nerd is totally socially acceptable, and please know that my Doctor Who obsession continued long after grade school. Thank you for trying to convince me that boys were a waste of time, I did not listen, but your efforts were in the right place. You taught me to always be patient and kind even when others were not. Thank you for teaching me to indulge in what I truly love, and accepting my sporadic thoughts and ideas. Juliet, you were the light of my childhood, my partner in crime, my sunflower. I will always be grateful for what we once had.